What do flowers actually mean? 7 flower meanings to help you date

Before bringing a bouquet of these, make sure you know what you're "saying."

Before bringing a bouquet of these, make sure you know what you’re “saying.”

The tradition of giving someone flowers to show them you like them is one that stretches back centuries. But one aspect of that tradition has fallen to the wayside in recent decades: what the flowers actually mean. As it turns out, flowers speak a “language” of sorts, and the types of flowers you give someone stand for various messages that you want to send.

So how can you decide which flowers to give your date? The first option is the most obvious and skips the flower language altogether: choose a flower that you know they like. If your date’s favorite flower is lavender, it doesn’t really matter that it means “distrust” in flower language. All that matters is that they like it, and they probably don’t care what it means. If you have the chance to give a favorite flower, go that route first as it’s the easiest and should be a win no matter what.

If you don’t know their favorite flower, florist shops and flower markets are a wealth of opportunity. To help you build a bouquet that truly “speaks” for you, the experts at Teleflora have provided a list of flower meanings. Try a few of these if you want to make an impression, but remember: not all flowers go together well, not all are fragrant, and not all last long in a vase. Consult with your florist to get the best expert help in creating an arrangement that is memorable AND meaningful.

On with the flower meanings:

Sunflower: These large, bright blooms once cultivated for their seeds and oil stand for the sun because of their big sunny faces and they way they the turn to follow the light. In a bouquet, they mean warmth, adoration and happiness.

Tulip: These tend to “pop up” in the spring, and while each color of tulip has its own personal meaning, the general meaning of a tulip is grace and elegance.

Rose: This one is pretty obvious, but like the tulip, each color means a different message. Roses in general stand for love, but also confidentiality. Red roses are love and passion, yellow are joy and friendship, orange are desire and enthusiasm, white are innocence, purple are enchantment, and pink are admiration and gratitude.

Daffodil: This is another spring bloomer that signals the end of spring and the start of prosperity. Daffodils in a bouquet stand for happiness, but be careful to give more than one flower at a time. A single daffodil traditionally means misfortune is coming.

Lily: Lilies have been around, and meaningful, since ancient times. They usually mean innocence (especially white lilies), and they are very common at funerals, suggesting that the person who has passed is innocent again in the afterlife. Like other flower varieties, Lilies mean different things when the colors change: pink stargazers mean wealth, white stargazers are sympathy, and Peruvian lilies mean devotion and friendship.

Gladiolus: This is a big, bold flower with sword-like leaves and long stalks of blooms. It’s a powerful statement in any bouquet. Gladiolus means strength, integrity, and the idea of the recipient piercing the giver’s heart with passion.

Carnation: This is another bloom with a long, long history, and also a choice of meanings that vary by color. White means pure love, but dark red means deep love. Purple should be avoided (it suggests your date is flighty or erratic), but pink is the more significant (though not date-friendly, probably) color of carnation, as it means a mother’s undying love.

Now you can build a flower arrangement for your date that speaks a language all its own!

 

 

Dating Sites By the Numbers

fingersThere are more dating sites on the web right now than anyone can count, with new ones springing up or shutting down every day. The site(s) you choose to join may depend on many factors, from overall membership numbers to cost to whether the site supports same sex matchups. Thanks to Wikipedia, we can give you a quick rundown of some of the more popular US online dating sites, in case you’re having trouble deciding on one. NOTE: This is by no means an exhaustive list, and if you’d like more info on these sites or any others, follow the wiki link above.

Match.com

Membership: 96 million registered as of 2009, with 1.7 million active

Free? nope, this one will cost you, both for joining and for messaging other members.

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

eHarmony.com

Membership:

Free? No, you have to pay to join and also to message other members.

Same sex couples ok? No, this is a hetero-only site.

OKCupid.com

Membership: 5.6 million active as of 2010

Free? Yep, this site is free to join and to message others.

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

Plenty of Fish

Membership: 40 million registered as of 2012

Free? You betcha. Free to join, free to message others.

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

Zoosk

Membership: 50 million as of 2011

Free? No, this one costs you to sign up and also send messages.

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

SpeedDate.com

Membership: 9 million registered as of 2010

Free? Parts of it are, but the full site access will cost you.

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

Gay Romeo/Planet Romeo

Membership: 6.7 million registered, over a million active

Free? Communication and profile/page views are free

Same sex couples ok? That’s a stupid question. Yes.

Chemistry.com

Membership: 11 million as of 2010

Free? Parts of it are free, but communicating with other members is not

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

Badoo

Membership: 197 million as of 2013

Free? There’s a free option, but premium services do cost money

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

Ashley Madison

Membership: 17.8 million as of 2013

Free? Partial access for free, but most of it costs

Same sex couples ok? Yes!

Five Tips for Writing that First Message to Someone on a Dating Site

When you find a profile on a dating site that makes you go, “Hmm, this one sounds promising,” it can be more stressful than expected. After all, you have one chance, your first message to this new person, to make a good impression. You want to write something that makes THEM go, “Hmmm, this one sounds promising.” You want that first message to draw them in, not send them screaming for the hills. So what constitutes a good first message to someone on a dating site?

OKCupid did the math. They looked at 500,000 first messages and checked out keywords, response rates and other valuable statistics. In the end, they came up with some rules that can help your first contact be the first of many more. There’s no guarantee that these rules will work every time, but they just might give you a leg up on the competition, at the least.

No matter how pretty she is, save it for after you've gotten to know her a bit.

No matter how pretty she is, save it for after you’ve gotten to know her a bit.

1. No physical compliments. You may think this is counter intuitive; what girl wouldn’t want to be told she’s beautiful? But the key here is that you’re trying to meet someone for the first time, and focusing on looks as a pick-up line can be a major turn-off. If the girl is pretty, she probably knows it, or at least made sure to put her most flattering picture on her profile. So messages that point out her attractiveness will probably come across as more creepy than complimentary. You can always tell her how attractive she is after you’ve gotten to know her a bit more. On the flipside, general, non-physical compliments scored way better in OKCupid’s analysis: go for words like “fascinating,” “cool,” or “awesome” (just don’t use them in the wrong context, like “you have an awesome rack”).

2. Atypical greetings score better than the bland ones. You may think that a standard “hi” is a good way to open a message, but it turns out that the usual “hi,” “hello” or “hey” scored pretty low. The opening lines that performed the best included “how’s it going,” “what’s up,” “howdy” and even “hola.” We’re not really sure why this is, but it’s best not to argue with science.

3. Don’t suck at spelling/grammar. Literacy, as it turns out, is important for a first impression, not only for job interviews but also for dates. Proper use of punctuation (especially apostrophes) can raise even ordinary words to high approvals, but failing at grammar drops otherwise-decent words into netspeak hell. The “words” (and I use that term loosely) that scored worst in OKCupid’s ratings included “ur,” “r,” “ya,” “u,” “cant,” “luv,” “realy” and “wat.” There were a few exceptions to the rule, such as expressions of laughter (“haha” and “lol” did okay in the stats), but by and large, dusting off those old English class skills helped users get far more responses than crappy or lazy writing.

4. Be an atheist. Or at least claim to be. Before anyone gets their panties in a wad about this, it’s not a personal preference thing by us or by OKCupid. We don’t care if you’re religious or not. The reality is, the stats don’t lie, and people who mentioned being atheist in their opening contacts scored higher than any other religious mention. A distant second was Christian, then Jewish, then Muslim. After that came mentions of Allah and Jesus (both barely a positive), while mention of “god” in general was a negative.

Tattoo, yes. Saying "u" instead of "you," NO.

Tattoo, yes. Saying “u” instead of “you,” NO.

5. Use specifics to stand out. Talking in vague, general terms about yourself is not going to win any points with a potential date. You want to be specific about your interests, and you also want to be specific about how you’ve noticed THEIR interests. For yourself, the following terms scored the highest in OKCupid’s findings: “band,” “metal,” “vegetarian,” “zombie,” “favorite movies,” “tattoo(s),” “physics,” “video games” and “grad school.” When talking about what the other person likes, the terms that got the best response (and showed that you were paying attention to their profile) were “you mention,” “good taste,” “noticed that,” “your name” and “curious what.” Be clear about what you like and also how interested you are in what they like, and you’ll have a much higher chance of response.

Seven Niche Dating Sites for VERY Specific People

Yes, you can find dating sites for workout buffs, but these sites are even more niche than that.

Yes, you can find dating sites for workout buffs, but these sites are even more niche than that.

It’s almost impossible to count all the dating sites out there. Many of them are general and boast millions of members, but others are extremely specific: They cater to a narrow member base, those who have something in common that really matters to them. What these sites lack in population size, they make up for in passion, at least where their niche is concerned. So is there a niche dating site that’s right for you? Here are some specific (and often surprising) niche dating sites that actually exist. (site info courtesy of a great article at The Frisky)

1. 420Singles: This is a dating site designed just for those who like to indulge in cannabis. Whether you live in a state that has legalized marijuana or not, whether you smoke a bowl daily or just try a bit in a while (or even if you don’t smoke but support those who do), this site is for those like you. 420singles claims to have 53,000 members with more added daily.

2. Trek Passions: If Sci Fi is your thing, Trek Passions is for you. You don’t have to be a fan of Star Trek; the site also caters to fans of Star Wars and other sci fi TV shows and movies, as well as those who prefer their science fiction in literary form (Douglas Adams anyone?). Trek Passions is good for finding both friends and dates who share your love of the final frontier. Smoke us a kipper, we’ll be back for breakfast.

3. Gluten-Free Singles: Celiac is nothing to mess with. If you’d like to meet singles who eschew gluten, whether because of celiac, gluten intolerance or just dietary choice, look no further. You’d be surprised how delightful it can be to dine out with someone who orders from the same menu. Gluten-Free Singles was a finalist for the 2014 “Up and Coming Dating Site” award.

4. Punk Match: You aren’t mainstream, so why date that way? Punk Match pairs you with potential partners who are as punk as you are. If you grow weary of the options on ordinary dating sites and want someone who shares your individual spirit and anti-establishment tendencies, this could be the site for you.

5. Equestrian Singles: Many children love horses. So do many adults, as it turns out. Equestrian Singles lets you meet potential mates who share your love and passion for all things horse. Whether you ride English or Western, whether you prefer the thrill of the steeplechase or the peace of a trail ride, visit this site for other horse lovers.

6. Positive Singles: In this day and age, having an STD doesn’t have to carry the stigma it once did. If you’re one of the millions of people living with a sexually-transmitted disease, Positive Singles is a reminder that you’re not alone. Whether you have HIV, HPV or HSV, this site lets you meet others with similar diagnoses so that you can date without worry. No need to fret about when to “drop the bomb” on your latest love interest or whether they’ll lose interest in you afterward. This dating site takes the stress out of being positive.

7. Alikewise: Just saying “I like books” isn’t enough. There are so many genres, authors, styles and themes in the literary world that a shared love of literature is no guarantee of a match. That’s where Alikewise comes in, pairing book lovers with others who share their specific reading interests. Whether you prefer Asimov or Austen, you can share your passion here.